Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
