does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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