I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
