Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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