I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
