If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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