Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
