How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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