It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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