i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
