There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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