and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
