I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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