god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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