I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
