I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
