I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
