sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just found puke in my bra..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
