Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
