arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
