I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
