Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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