I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
