Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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