He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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