She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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