wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
