We named our party play list daddy issues
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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