How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
