ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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