now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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