There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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