I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
