i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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