Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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