gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Welp...herpes.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
