It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my liver is dry heaving
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
