youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
