Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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