i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
