Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
