have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
