You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
