oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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