his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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