had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
