420 ftw
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
