Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
