considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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