i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
